There's Nothing More Important than Family, chapter 26

Sean wakes me gruffly the next morning. It looks like he’s had a long night. I feel guilty about stealing his bed, but before I can apologize, he raises a hand and stops me in my tracks. I walk into the dining room and start eating right away. I can’t resist the Capitol food; it’s the only good thing about the Capitol. Yeah, my mom’s a great cook, but there’s something about artificial flavoring that I really like.
Olivia is eating slowly. Her hair is pulled back messily and there are tears streaming down her face. She doesn’t make a sound. I realize this must be nearly as hard for her as it is for me. I remember watching her Games. There were five twelve-year-olds that year, and she watched all of them die. I knew she had a soft spot in her heart for Zania, especially since she was her mentor.
I comfortingly put my hand on her shoulder, and she looks up suddenly. Her tear-stained blue eyes look into mine. She looks hopelessly depressed and scared; her misery rivals mine. I know she can see the sadness in my eyes, too, even though I’m trying to hide it. Hastily, she pulls me into a bone-crushing embrace. She starts sobbing uncontrollably into on my shoulder, and I try to pat her back reassuringly. My tee-shirt is soaked, but I know Moray will have me change into something else anyway. Sean comes in, but when he sees Olivia crying, he subtly slides out of the room. Palana, clueless as ever, sits at the end of the table watching us curiously. I glare at her and she quickly looks away.
It takes Olivia a few minutes to calm down. When she sits back up, her eyes are res and puffy, and her face is soaked. Hoarsely, she whispers, “I’m sorry.” And continues to eat.

“It’s fine.” I tell her quietly. “I know how you feel.”

“Oh, I feel nowhere near how you feel. I wasn’t there!” She smiles a watery smile. “We’re here if you need us. Sean and I, I mean.”

“Thanks. And I’m here too. If you need help.” She nods slightly and eats.

I don’t do much until noon; I mostly just stare out the window and pat Olivia on the back when she starts to cry. Sean sits across from us, looking thoughtful, but he’s quieter than I am. After lunch, Moray takes me away to the auditorium the original interviews were at. My prep team gets to work, transforming me into a victor; not just some boy from District 9. They don’t make my hair sit flat today, but they spike it in a special way so it looks more orderly. I wear a gold flashy dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up. My pants today are black with a gold belt, and the shoes are brown. I look older; almost twenty-three, I suppose.

“Where are the others?” I ask Moray softly.

“Kerany is getting them ready.” He replies, just as quiet. “It’s tradition. The fallen tribute’s prep team prepares the mentors and escort.” I wince when he says the word ‘fallen’. He finishes adjusting my wardrobe, and then puts his hands on my shoulders firmly, so I have no choice but to look at him. “One more night.” He tells me. “Just keep a brave face for one more night. After this, you can hide away for six months.”

“What do you mean, six months?”

“You’ll have to come back for the Victory Tour.” He reminds me gently.
Ah, yes, the Victory Tour. How could have I forgotten? The Victor of the Hunger Games gets to parade around the districts, celebrating their big win. Basically, it’s a slap in the face to the districts, who have to act happy, and torture for the victor, who is trying their hardest to forget their Games. I am definitely not looking forward to meeting the family of the tributes I killed.
“Don’t worry about that now.” Moray tells me. “Just go out there, and be as charismatic as you were in your first interview.” I nod slightly, and take my place, waiting for my cue.

Caesar Flickerman is already out there, warming up the crowd and explaining who I am; as if they’ve forgotten. I grimace angrily, just hoping to get it out of the way. Instantly, I turn my face into the mask instead. “Please, welcome out Nathan Roberts, this year’s victor!” Caesar calls. I walk out, acting excited and happy, and the crowd goes wild. Caesar shakes my hand warmly and we sit down in the chairs provided. He smells weird, but I don’t know the smell. It’s nothing I’ve smelt before.
I look out into the crowd. On a platform near the stage is my team; Palana, Sean, Moray and the prep squad. I spot Olivia in the crowd near the stage. She isn’t on the platform, since she was Zania’s mentor, not mine. She smiles at me somberly and winks. I know she was trying to look happy, but the anguish in her eyes cannot be hidden.
Caesar beams at me genuinely. “Well, well, well. Nice to see you back here, Nathan!”

“Nice to be back!” I lie smoothly, trying to sound relieved.

“What an incredible ordeal you just went through. Who do you think was your biggest competition?”

The question catches me off guard, a little. Not that I wasn’t expecting it; it’s just that I wasn’t very focused. I consider for a moment. “Well, the obvious answer is Kelly, but I have to say it was myself. When Zania was still alive, I wasn’t planning on coming out alive. All I wanted to do was send her home. After she died, I couldn’t think straight or focus. It was hard just keeping myself alive.” It’s hard to talk about this on stage, but surprisingly, I don’t feel weepy. I feel depressed, of course, but It’s nice to finally get it off my chest. I see tears streaming down Olivia’s face. Whoops. I guess she wasn’t expecting that answer. 

Neither was Caesar. He stumbles with his words, which is definitely a first. “I-I-Well what a well thought out answer! Good for you!” he stutters. After he composes himself once more, he asks me, “I know this is a…personal question, but what was going through your head when you were Reaped?”

I sigh. I don’t want to answer, but I do anyway, “A lot of things. I was worried about what my family would do. I was scared because Z-Zania was so young.” I choke out my sister’s name, because I can feel my throat seizing up and I am dangerously close to crying. I breathe deeply and continue, “I was wondering what I would do and who my competition would be. And I was trying not to fall over when Zania was hanging off of me.” I finish quickly, my voice cracking.

“Ah, yes, we all remember that. You mentioned your family. What is it like at home? How do you get along with your siblings?”

“Louisia is the oldest.” I explain. “She’s five years older than I am. She’s quiet, so we don’t talk much. David is three years younger than me, and we fight a lot. Alex is six, so when I do spend time with him, all we do is play make-belief. And Katie is almost a year old; she doesn’t do much.”

“I see you skipped Zania.” Caesar pointed out.

I glare at him furiously. “So?” He is seriously pissing me off. I feel like a time bomb, about to explode.

He flinches at my icy tone, and moves on. “One interesting moment in the arena was when you built a fort by the Cornucopia. I can tell you, that in the Capitol, we were all amused. Can you tell us what was going through your head?”

My angry gaze doesn’t falter as I answer steadily. “I was bored and missing home. I’m glad that amused you so much.” I hear the crowd whisper in shock my cold words startle them. They’re used to the happy Nathan, the ‘smiley’ Nathan. This hostile Nathan has come out of nowhere. I know it completely ruins my ‘charismatic’ angle, but it’s taking all my self control not to attack the man before me; a positive attitude is definitely not happening.

Caesar nervously adjusts his pea-green tie and I see beads of sweat on his forehead. “Okay, I guess it’s time to present you with your crown!” The crowd goes wild, and I raise my eyebrow. Usually they do this before the interview; right after the recap. I stand up reluctantly. President Snow waltzes on stage, with a crown on a pillow. A Capitol attendant takes the pillow as he faces me.

“I’m so sorry about what happened to your sister.” He whispers as he places the crown on my head. He’s smirking. He feels no remorse. I almost lunge at his throat.

Caesar says my name one last time, and the crowd goes beserk, not wanting me to leave. When the cameras turn off, I storm offstage and throw the crown on the floor. I see Sean pick it up and pocket it in the corner of my eye. I am literally shaking with rage.

“Good job.” He tells me lightly. “I was expecting you to rip Caesar to pieces, you did very well.”

“I was considering it.” I growl. I notice tears of anger and mourning running down my face. When Olivia arrives backstage, she hugs me comfortingly. She’s crying too. Palana rocks back and forth on her heels awkwardly. I am taken back to the Training Centre.

I don’t even bother changing into my pajamas when I collapse into Sean’s bed. The only thing I did take off, other than the crown, is my shoes. Tears are really flowing now. I wipe my eyes and nose on my sleeve scornfully. I’ve never cried this much before in my life.
Suddenly, Olivia appears in my doorway. I hastily try to hide the fact that I’m crying, but she rolls her red, puffy eyes. Quietly, she walks into the room and sits on the end of my bed.

“Cry if you want.” She tells me. “Don’t stop because of me. This is long overdue.”

“I just want to go home!” I groan miserably.

“Tomorrow we just have a banquet for the sponsors, and then we can leave.” She assures me. I’m amazed at how put-together she sounds. Despite the tears welling up in her eyes, her voice is strong and clear.  

I frown. “I hate the Capitol. Why do we need to thank them? They sent all twenty-four of us in there to our death.”

“It’s polite.” She tells me. “The sponsors provided that brace and saved Zania from that pesticide. It’s only right to thank them.”

“The antidote was pointless.” I scoff. “She died anyway.” Olivia sobs and falls forward onto the bed. I pat her gently on the back. “I’m sorry.” I whisper guiltily. She hits me on the arm. I know she’s trying to hit me hard, but it’s a feeble attempt.

When she finally sits up, she just looks helpless. “I-it’s fine. I don’t want to go either, but we have to make an appearance. Don’t worry, you just have to thank everyone who comes up to you and smile like you’re grateful.”

“I guess Zania would have wanted me to go.” I smile sadly. “She would have been handling this better than I am. She was-“ But I stop. Olivia is crying into her hands, not even listening to me. I hug her tightly. “What’s wrong?” I mumble.

“This is just too much!”

“What is?”

“Zania dying, my nightmares; just the whole stupid Games in general!”

“You have nightmares?” I ask curiously. She nods as she sniffs, and I continue, “W-What are they about?”

“Everyone I love is dead at my feet.” She mutters. “When I wake up, I’m always alone, so I freak out and think that my dream is real.”

“Sounds horrible.”

“It is.”

I sigh. “Too bad you couldn’t stay here. Then when you wake up, you wouldn’t be alone.” I’m not aware of the words coming out of my mouth.

“Can I?” she begs.

I stutter. “Yeah, I guess so.” She smiles gratefully, and leaves the room. When she comes back, she’s in her pajamas.

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” She tells me softly. “Thank you so much.” I shrug, and she turns off the light. To my surprise, I am more relaxed with another human in the room. I fall asleep to the sound of her even breathing.